The female orgasm has little to do with size, shape, or even how much porn you watch. It’s a topic that has eluded scientists for decades (maybe because it didn’t concern male well-being), so it’s no surprise that orgasms are far and few for most women. Hasty foreplay and immediate intercourse don’t help matters either. And if you take the foreplay out of the equation completely, you might as well sit down to read some erotica (which is guaranteed to be more thrilling.)

The female orgasm is wonderful. Elusive, yet wonderful. Did you know that being hasty is a pleasure killer? It takes us anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes to climax during foreplay. Take foreplay out of the picture and you might as well switch to reading! After all, 80 per cent of women are unable to climax from vaginal penetration alone. And research shows that it helps to know the female anatomy because same-sex couples reach orgasms more often than hetero-couples.

The clitoris has anywhere from 6,000 to 8,000 nerve endings, and is aptly named as “the pleasure centre” of our anatomy. And it’s not just a tiny spot, but an entire network of erectile tissues and nerves that spreads throughout the body. A stimulated clitoris means lots of sexual tension and even a climax with proper arousal.. As you reach orgasm, a string of rhythmic contractions occurs in the uterus, vagina, and pelvic floor muscles giving a feeling of warmth that originates from the pelvis and spreads throughout the entire body. (Hurray for full body orgasms!). Become familiar with the clitoris to beat the average—2-minute—duration of the female orgasm. And here's a secret: multiple orgasms are not a myth!

Dr. Laurie Mintz in her book ‘Becoming Cliterate’ expands upon the female orgasm, “the vagina has very few touch-sensitive nerve endings. Instead, the overwhelming majority of nerve endings that women need to reach orgasm are on the outside. I repeat: Penetration is not required. Clitoral stimulation is. This is why truly appreciating and attending clitoris is the simplest secret to your orgasm!”

 

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We have tips on reaching the big O.

1. Explore your body to discover what you want in bed: Run your hands down your belly, around the vagina and clitoris, and take time to really feel and appreciate ALL of you. Who knows what you’ll unlock?

 

2. Set the mood, treat yourself: Create an environment that allows you to feel fully relaxed, safe, and free from distraction. Wear something sensual, eat chocolate, and turn on romantic music to set the ambiance. Stay with whatever feels good until you're ready to heat things further.

 

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3. Give directions: Communicate, guide and nudge your partner. If you can, make it sexy. Each tip or nudge in the right direction puts you in the driving seat where you control the intensity, duration, and location of pleasure.

 

4. Express sexual fantasies to turn yourself on: Everything is fair in the world of fantasy. Visualise your favorite fictional crush pressing you up against a wall, or think role plays with your partner to have the hottest sex ever. Communicate with your partner or discover what gives you pleasure. It's quite liberating to recognise your ability to create situations that turn you on.

 

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5. Experiment in bed and outside: For pleasurable sex that leads to orgasm, think beyond the bed. Ask your partner about his/her sexual desires. Build intimacy around your partner’s turn-ons and their preferred techniques of stimulation.

 

6. Extend foreplay: Mix up your regular moves and play with combinations of senses to reach peak arousal. Your breasts and nipples are major erogenous zones; they react to being pressed and caressed since they're loaded with nerve endings and sensitive skin. Some women really can experience a big O just by having their nipples stroked and kissed.

 

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7. Pleasure the clitoris: Learn to play your pleasure keyboard. Clitoris is wired for pleasurable sensations. You can dial up the volume of sensations by strengthening the pleasure pathways. Repeated stimulation, up-and-down, back-and-forth, and both wide and small circles build excitement for what's to come—literally!