It is not new for long-term couples to find themselves becoming complacent in comparison to the initial stages of their courtship. Perhaps, the things that you did earlier to show your partner you care, are not needed any longer because now they know how you truly feel about them. Maybe in the backdrop of the pandemic, the spark in your relationship fizzled under the pressure of mundane household chores.

It may seem that time and stress of living through a pandemic has left no room for passion and intimacy, however it is possible to renew the romance in your relationship.

According to Mumbai-based clinical psychologist Dr. Seema Hingorrany, there are many reasons why you may have taken your partner for granted. If you are stressed or distracted by work or outsiders, you are bound to lose communication and intimacy in your personal life.

However, this decline of spontaneity and passion doesn't necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed. Dr. Hingorrany has some simple yet effective advice to rekindle that flame and keep it burning.

 

1. Prioritise your partner

With time, you may find yourself being less and less attentive to your partner’s needs because you're always together. It’s the little things that show your partner that you care.

Remember to thank them for their help, to praise the things you love about them. Acknowledge and respect the achievements in their personal as well as professional lives.

 

2. Share activities

Although you may find yourself watching TV most nights, consider ditching Netflix for a good heart-to-heart to reconnect with each other.

Think of it like a date night at home. Tell them about your day. Have fun together, it's a great idea to make a playlist of your favourite tunes and dance like no one's watching. If either of you enjoy cooking, cook dinner together instead of ordering in.

 

3. Leave small reminders

Not all surprises need to be expensive. Your partner will appreciate the subtle display of your love and support, just like you would too.

Wake them up with a kiss or offer a hug before or after work-related calls. Even stroking their hair can make them feel relaxed and cared for.

 

4. Convey your emotions

You’ve been together for so long, your partner must know you love them no matter what. Right?

It’s time to rethink that. Appreciate the little things that you find attractive about your partner. Sit down and ask each other questions about your favourites, your new likes and dislikes etc. You'd be surprised to see how much you can learn about them even after being together for years.

 

 

5. Accountability is key

A big part of maintaining a mutually fulfilling relationship is owning up to your mistakes. "Self-reflect and take responsibility where it's due", says Dr. Hingorrany.

In times of conflict or if you find yourself acting out, try to have a mature conversation. Avoid passive aggressive behaviour and silent treatment. Little unresolved fights can lead to bigger outbursts in the long term. Try to understand why you're upset, whether it is about them or about yourself. Talk to them about these feelings and be attentive to what they have to say.

 

6. Talk about sex

Physical intimacy is as important as an emotional connection. If you and your partner rarely or never have sex, it may be because of a variety of reasons.

The first step is to be open. Have a discussion about what works for you in the bedroom and what you're uncomfortable with. Respect each other's preferences. Try out new things.

 

 

7. Maintain healthy boundaries:

Being in a passionate relationship does not equal excessive codependence. Encourage personal hobbies, spend time with your friends outside of your mutual group.

Dr. Hingorrany says, “it is the need of the hour to nurture yourself and nourish your personal space.” You can't grow in a relationship without growing yourselves as individuals.