What is Phubbing?

Snubbing someone using your phone? That’s called phubbing. It describes the habit of ignoring someone physically present, like a friend, family member, partner, or even a child, because you’re distracted by your smartphone.

At first glance, phubbing might seem like a minor annoyance, but it has been recognized in research and psychology as a phenomenon that undermines social connections. A 2024 report by the Boston Consulting Group found that around 84 per cent of smartphone users in India check their phones within 15 minutes of waking up, and 50 per cent of phone pickups occur out of habit rather than necessity. A 2018 study published in the Journal of Family and Community Medicine found that 49.3 per cent of respondents reported engaging in phubbing behaviour.

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How phubbing damages relationships and mental well-being

Eroding presence and emotional connection

When you reach for your phone in the middle of a conversation at dinner, during a catch-up, while spending time with a partner or child, you break the flow of shared connection. This absence of attention, eye contact, and responsiveness can make the phubbed person feel invisible, unimportant, and even rejected. Over time, intimacy, trust, and closeness drift away.

Damaging romantic relationships

In romantic relationships, phubbing is especially problematic. When one partner repeatedly prioritises their phone over face-to-face time (also known as partner phubbing), it often leads to dissatisfaction, conflict, and feelings of neglect or emotional withdrawal.

According to a 2020 study published in the Medical Journal of Dr. D.Y. Patil Vidyapeeth, partner-phubbing is linked to increased feelings of rejection, reduced self-esteem, and even greater risk of depression for the phubbed partner.

Undermining parent-child bond and child development

Phubbing isn’t limited to romantic relationships. When parents frequently use their smartphones around their children, they may interfere with vital ‘serve and return’ interactions: moments where a child signals something (a smile, a question, a gesture) and the parent responds.

This absence of responsiveness can affect a child’s emotional development, self-esteem, and sense of being valued. It may even contribute to behavioural problems, like inattention or hyperactivity, as children attempt to regain their parents’ attention.

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Takes a toll on mental health

For the person being phubbed, repeated experiences of being ignored can threaten core human needs to belong, to feel valued, and to feel in control.

For the “phubber,” too, there are consequences: using a smartphone during face-to-face interactions reduces enjoyment of social moments, increases distraction, and may even feed into a cycle of further phone dependency.

A 2023 research from the Healthcare journal (Switzerland) connects phubbing to personality traits like boredom and loneliness. This adds another layer: people who are bored or lonely may be more prone to phubbing, and in turn, phubbing may worsen those feelings, creating a loop.

Related Story: The Cost of Loneliness on Our Body and Soul

Real-life solutions to overcome phubbing

Create phone-free zones or times: Designate certain contexts like mealtimes, bedtime, family time, date nights as ‘phone-free’, to preserve space for uninterrupted, meaningful interaction. Many parenting experts recommend this to model healthier phone use and strengthen family bonds.

Communicate openly about phone habits: If you share a relationship, discuss how phone use affects you. Let your partner or loved one know that being on the phone during conversations makes you feel undervalued or disconnected. Such honest conversations can foster mutual understanding and respect.

Be mindful and intentional with phone use: Before picking up your phone, ask: “Do I really need to check this now?” If it can wait, leave it. Consider keeping your phone out of sight if that helps.

Replace phone time with meaningful shared activities: Whether it’s reading, cooking, walking, playing games, or just talking, prioritise activities that foster real connection. Especially for parents, these shared moments matter for emotional bonding and a child’s development.

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In a world where smartphones promise connections across continents, across time, it’s ironic that the very device meant to bring us closer can end up pushing us apart. Phubbing may seem trivial, but its ripple effects on intimacy, trust, mental health, and family bonds are real. Creating distance from our devices begins with creating calm within ourselves. Regular meditation helps you stay centred, aware, and present, making it easier to choose real connection over endless scrolling. Join our 2-week meditation program today!