A Matchmaker's Guide To Finding Love
Searching for true love? Wondering if you've found the one? An expert shares her tips on how to find love.
Relationships come in different forms, but at the end of the day, most people look for someone to share their hopes, happiness, and burdens with, someone to trust and connect with on a deep level. Anuradha Gupta, Founder CEO and Lead Matchmaker of Vows For Eternity, a matrimonial matchmaking service that has its headquarters in New York City and also has a presence in London, New Delhi and Mumbai, aims to help people find that soulmate connection.
Talking about the matrimonial approach Vows For Eternity takes to matchmaking, Gupta says, "People who approach us are in a space in their life when they are looking for the next step in terms of commitment, and if they find the right person, they would get married. Our service is a confidential curated search, and we have certainly seen that COVID has really driven home the point that what matters really is family." The necessity of social distancing due to the ongoing global pandemic has had an effect on emotional connections. "All of a sudden, people who had been prioritising careers over everything else are now rejigging their priorities and putting finding their life partner really at the top of the list. There is no doubt that we have lost almost two years of our life due to the pandemic", she continues.
With her background in psychology and years of experience in matchmaking, Gupta offers advice on finding someone special.
1. If You Are Searching For True Love:
Pay attention to how they make you feel
"Getting to know someone well takes time. Initially, it's really more about how someone makes you feel", Gupta says on meeting someone new. Ask yourself, do they accept you for who you are? Do you feel safe with them? Are you getting the love you want?
See if you can be yourself with them
The comfort level you have with the other person is important. "Do you like spending time with the person? Do you look forward to the next time you are together, and most importantly, can you be yourself? If you have to try too hard or need to be someone you are not, then they aren’t right for you", advises Gupta.
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2. If You Are Moving On From An Unhappy Past:
Let yourself heal
Bad experiences from previous relationships can make it painful and difficult to move past the hurt but be hopeful about finding someone special. Gupta advises, "Give yourself time to heal, and then open your life to possibilities. If you don’t open the window, the sun will never stream into the room."
Believe in yourself
Having faith in yourself can bring about an optimistic outlook if you have been wondering about how to find love again. "Believe in yourself and your capacity to love someone and make a difference in their lives, and know that some chapters close because they weren’t meant to be. Being hurt once doesn’t mean it will happen again. And sometimes, it might be like they say—dance like no one is watching and love like you have never been hurt before!" Gupta offers.
Related Story: How To Heal From Heartbreak
3. If You Want To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level:
Listen to your heart
Gupta says, "Marriage is a leap of faith no matter how well you know someone. In the olden days, they used to say, 'Don’t date endlessly', and there is truth in that. Often, things that are stretched end up falling apart. I think knowing when the time is right is a very personal thing, there is no cookie cutter timeline to this. You will know in your heart when it feels right."
Check if your value systems match
Although no one is absolutely perfect and there might be some pet peeves you have about your partner, Gupta thinks there are some factors that are markers of a solid foundation. "If you are connected on the basis of value systems and mindsets, and share chemistry, that's really a strong enough set of reasons to take it to the next level."
Communicate with each other
Communication is crucial in every relationship, and especially when it is about making big decisions as a couple. "The best way to make that transition from ‘casual’ to ‘serious’ in the relationship is to talk and make sure that both people are aligned and feel the same", Gupta concludes.
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