With the new year approaching, it’s the perfect time to take stock of our lives and make positive changes. In the spirit of self-improvement, let’s look at some habits that may have outlived their usefulness and should be left behind in the past. In the coming year, let’s resolve to embrace a more intentional, mindful, and fulfilling way of living.

 

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6 Habits That Are Holding You Back

Ditch the “I’m One of the Good Ones” Mentality

The habit of self-proclaiming one's goodness or "allyship" without real action is counterproductive. Instead of labelling yourself as "one of the good ones," focus on being consistently mindful of how your behaviour impacts others. Allyship is not a title to be worn for validation; it’s a continual process of learning, self-examination, and action. Move away from seeking affirmation from women or others about how “good” you are. Instead, strive for humility and accountability without expecting recognition or applause.
For instance: Standing up in conversations, even when it’s uncomfortable.

What it looks like: You don’t just make a post about standing against sexism, racism, or homophobia—you actively intervene in conversations where these issues are being minimised or dismissed, even when it’s difficult or may make you unpopular.
Example: In a group of friends, someone makes a sexist joke. Rather than staying silent, you challenge the joke, explaining why it’s harmful. You don’t do this to get approval or praise, but because you believe in making the space safer and more respectful for everyone.

 

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Stop Using Feminism as a Tool for Validation

Many men fall into the trap of using feminism as a way to prove their own worth or to elicit approval from women. It's time to ditch the habit of expecting praise for simply being supportive of gender equality. True allyship means prioritising women's voices, respecting their boundaries, and listening without needing to be celebrated for your actions. The focus should be on the movement itself, not on how much credit you can gain.
When men use feminism to boost their own image or to be seen as “better” than other men, they dilute the core of the feminist struggle, which is about dismantling patriarchal systems, not about self-aggrandizement. The most powerful allies are those who quietly support the cause without seeking applause, who respect the leadership of women and marginalized groups, and who center the voices of those most affected by inequality. 

 

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Let Go of Conditional Friendships

Move away from the habit of only being a "good friend" when a person conforms to your idea of who they should be. Friendship shouldn't come with conditions or expectations tied to their adherence to your views. Be a friend without needing them to validate your own beliefs or teach you what you should already know. Acknowledge that their friendship is not a transaction, nor should you expect them to bear the burden of helping you become a better man.
For example, if you have a friend who holds different political opinions, don’t expect them to change just to make you comfortable. True friendship means respecting their individuality, even when they challenge your beliefs or push you to see things differently. Don’t rely on them to teach you how to be a better person or expect them to fix your shortcomings. If they are going through a tough time and don’t always have the emotional energy to help you grow, don’t take it personally.

 

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Stop Shaming Men Who Express Vulnerability

In many circles, expressing vulnerability is seen as weak or unmanly, and often ridiculed by other men. Ditch the habit of mocking or shaming men who express emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability. Recognise that emotional expression is a human trait, not a gendered one. Create spaces where men can openly express their feelings and seek help when needed, without fear of judgment or backlash. Men should be allowed the freedom to be vulnerable without being stripped of their masculinity.
In conversations, listen without judgment, and resist the urge to dismiss or downplay their feelings. Normalize vulnerability by sharing your own experiences and emotions, showing that being open doesn't make anyone less strong or less of a man. Encourage support networks where men can talk freely, whether it’s through close friendships, professional counselling, or community groups

 

Related story: 9 Proven Strategies to Break Bad Habits

 

Stop Relying on Excuses

We all have moments where we fall short or struggle, but relying on excuses to justify inaction or avoid responsibility prevents growth. Avoid making excuses for yourself, whether about missed deadlines, failed goals, or unaddressed problems. Instead, take ownership of your actions, reflect on what went wrong, and find ways to improve. Embrace accountability as a stepping stone for growth and personal responsibility.
If you didn’t meet a deadline or failed to follow through on a commitment, don’t blame outside circumstances or other people. Instead, ask yourself what you could have done differently, whether it was better planning or clearer communication. When you own your mistakes, you learn from them and become more reliable and capable. Accountability is not about beating yourself up, but about being honest with yourself and taking the steps necessary to do better next time. 

 

Related story: The Art of Stacking Up Healthy Habits

 

Stop Holding On to Unnecessary Material Possessions

Material possessions can be a source of comfort and convenience, but when they become the sole focus of your life, they can also weigh you down and distract you from the things that truly matter. Embracing minimalism or intentional living means reconsidering the role of possessions in your life, focusing on quality over quantity, and choosing only those things that bring you joy, add value, or serve a purpose.

Sustainability also comes into play here. The production, transportation, and disposal of material goods takes a significant toll on the environment. So, adopting a more minimalist mindset, you not only simplify your life and reduce clutter, but also make a positive impact on the planet. Every item you don't buy or discard is one less item adding to our planet's waste streams. 

 

Need all your wellness solutions in one place? A whole new world awaits just a click away.