According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) school anxiety or school fear affects 2 to 5 per cent of school-age children and can present in a variety of ways. 

It’s completely normal for children and young people to feel anxious about school, whether it’s the start of a new term, moving to a new school, or facing exams. These worries can come and go, but for some children, school anxiety can become a long-term struggle that makes everyday life stressful for everyone involved.

If your child is struggling with anxiety about school, or even refusing to go altogether, it can feel overwhelming. Mornings can become a battleground, with you trying to balance your child’s distress with the practical need to get them to school on time, all while managing your own responsibilities. Even when your child does manage to make it to school, the emotional toll can leave you both exhausted, and you might dread facing the same challenges again the next day.

Apart from emotional toll, children may also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, stomachaches, or difficulty sleeping before school. In some cases, their anxiety can escalate to school refusal, where the fear becomes so overwhelming that they cannot be persuaded to get on the bus or enter the school building. Even if they do manage to go to school, they might cry, complain of physical discomfort, and struggle to find comfort, even from teachers or school staff.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. We are here to share strategies to explore ways to make school feel more manageable, and offer practical steps to take if your child fears attending school regularly.

 

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6 Ways to Ease School Anxiety in Children

Break Anxiety into Manageable Chunks

If your child feels overwhelmed by the thought of school, help them break down their fears into smaller, more manageable parts. You can use a technique called the "fear ladder," where you work together to identify what specifically causes anxiety. Start with things that feel easier and gradually work up to the more challenging aspects. 

For example, if speaking up in class is stressful, begin by practicing with you or at home. If starting at a new school is the issue, visiting the school or even looking at pictures online can help. Make it a fun, goal-oriented activity—perhaps likening it to a video game or sports challenge to keep them motivated and engaged. Celebrate small successes to build confidence.

 

Encourage Children to Face Their Fears

While it can be tempting to protect your child from situations that make them anxious, avoiding these challenges can often make the fear stronger. Encouraging your child to face their fears in a gradual, supportive way can help them build confidence and resilience. For example, if your child is anxious about speaking in class, start by helping them set small, achievable goals. They could begin by raising their hand in a smaller, less intimidating class or answering a simple question. Over time, they can work up to more difficult challenges, like volunteering to read aloud or speaking in front of the entire class. 

By taking these incremental steps, your child learns that they can cope with their anxiety and that the feared situations are often not as bad as they imagined. Just like learning any new skill, practice and exposure are key.

 

Be in Touch With the School

Staying connected with your child's school can make a big difference in easing their anxiety. Communicating with teachers and school staff about your child's struggles allows you to work together to create a supportive environment. Schools often have resources or strategies they can implement to help children who are anxious, such as providing a quiet space for breaks, adjusting classroom routines, or having a trusted adult to check in with. 

Regular communication ensures that you're both on the same page and helps your child feel that school is a safe, collaborative space where their needs are understood.
Create a Consistent Morning Routine

Establishing a predictable morning routine can provide your child with a sense of security, reducing morning stress for both of you. Lay out clothes, pack the bag, and double-check the timetable the night before so the morning feels less rushed. In the morning, guide your child through each task step by step, focusing on one action at a time, rather than on the big picture of "getting to school." 

This approach helps them feel more in control and focused, rather than overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. Incorporating small rituals, like a favorite song or a calming activity, can also create a positive and predictable start to the day. Offering praise for completing each task builds confidence and reinforces the routine. Over time, these habits will help your child feel more independent and prepared for the day ahead.

 

Arrange Playdates with Classmates

Socialising with peers outside of school can help reduce the anxiety your child feels about school. By arranging playdates with classmates, you give your child the opportunity to build friendships in a relaxed, familiar setting. Positive interactions with classmates in a less formal environment can make school feel less intimidating and give your child a sense of belonging. 

These playdates can also help them practice social skills and navigate situations that may cause anxiety, such as group activities or working with others in class. Over time, the more comfortable they feel with their peers, the less anxiety they’ll experience when they see them at school.

 

Practice Exposure by Visiting School Together

If your child is nervous about going to school, one of the most effective ways to ease their fear is through gradual exposure. Visiting the school together before the term starts or on weekends can help your child familiarise themselves with the environment, making it feel less overwhelming when they start attending regularly. 

Walk around the playground, visit the classroom, or simply explore the areas they’ll be spending time in. This helps reduce the uncertainty and provides an opportunity to discuss any fears your child may have. By getting comfortable with the school setting in a calm, low-pressure way, they’ll feel more confident and less anxious when it’s time to go.

 

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