How To Be A Supportive Partner

The postnatal period can be difficult for new moms. Here are some strategies that can help you to be your partner's support system.

By URLife Team
28 May 2023

Bringing home a newborn is definitely a reason to celebrate, whether it's’ your first child or the third. In an instant one more person is added in your care that needs your undivided attention all the time. As happy and thrilling as the arrival of the newborn is, the onset of parenthood is challenging. For some a baby can strengthen their bond, while certain factors can cause others to drift apart. The routine you have with your partner and general lifestyle will change, which takes a while to get accustomed to.  


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Parenting is a team effort, and a supportive partner will actively participate in sharing the responsibilities. This includes tasks like feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and getting involved in day-to-day care. Sharing the workload allows the go-to parent to have time for self-care and rest.

Many times, several fathers are clueless about how to help as all they witness is their wife’s struggling to cope with their newborn. Since, all of the mothers’ time is taken up by the baby, miscommunications, and different opinions on parenting can creep in. With the demands of caring for a newborn, finding quality time  to spend together can strain the emotional connection and intimacy within the relationship. 


Related story: The Easiest Ways To Support A New Working Mom


Here are some ways newborns can influence your relationship:

  • Sleep Deprivation: Babies have a different sleep cycle than  adults. For the first few months of their lives, their sleep pattern is not synchronised with the 24-hour cycle.  As per a 2023 study issued in the Parenting Science, the average time a newborn sleeps is 16-18 hours a day during the first 2 weeks of his/her life and the sleep is usually in segments.  In order to tend to their needs, mothers suffer from sleep deprivation that can cause exhaustion, which triggers  irritability, and poor  mental health.
  • Shift in Priorities: With the arrival of a newborn, the focus and priorities of both partners naturally shift towards the care and well-being of the baby. This shift may sometimes lead to feelings of neglect or decreased intimacy between the parents or couple. Caring for a newborn involves a multitude of responsibilities, including feeding, diaper changing, soothing, and providing constant attention. The increased workload and demands can take up all of their time in child care. 
  • Change in Intimacy: The demands of caring for a newborn can leave little time and privacy for sexual intimacy. As per a 2021 study in Iranian Journal And Midwifery Research, sexual intimacy can change after childbirth due to various factors, including physical, emotional, and hormonal changes. Be it a vaginal delivery or a caesarean section, the healing process takes time, and the body needs to recover. Apart from this, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation and hormonal changes postpartum can affect libido impacting sexual desire, arousal, and lubrication. 


Related story: Dear URLife: I Just Had A Baby And I am Feeling Over Stressed And Overwhelmed 


Advice To Consider When Reconnecting With Your Partner

Pregnancy and childbirth can bring emotional adjustment to parenthood can be intense, as the focus and priorities shift toward the baby. Mothers may feel conscious of their body changes such as weight gain and  stretch marks. These physical changes can affect body image and self-confidence, which may impact one's willingness to engage in romance.

Although these physical and emotional blows are common, every couple's experience may differ. As an understanding and supporting partner, it is advisable to approach postpartum sexual intimacy with compassion, patience, and open communication with their partner. It's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your desires, concerns, and expectations. 

Here are some tips to reignite sexual intimacy:

  • Have open and non-judgmental communication with your partner about your sexual needs and desires.
  • Be patient and understanding with your partner. After childbirth, it takes time to adjust.
  • Explore non-sexual forms of intimacy, such as cuddling, kissing, and touching, to maintain a connection.
  • As a go-to parent, prioritise your self-care to address fatigue and stress.
  • Seek support from healthcare professionals or counsellors who specialise in postpartum care and sexual health.


Consult with a mental health specialist


Tips to Take Care of Your Partner’s And Child’s Health

Understanding what your partner is going through can help you provide informed and empathetic support. Here is how you can support your partner.

  • Let her know that you are there to listen without judgement and that her feelings are valid and important. Create a safe space for her to express her emotions and concerns.
  • Acknowledge and validate her emotions. Tell her that it is normal to feel overwhelmed, sad, or anxious after childbirth and that she is not alone in this journey.
  • Assist with daily household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, and caring for the baby. Jump in to take  responsibilities off the new mom and allow her more time for self-care and rest.
  • Make sure she is comfortable while breastfeeding the baby.
  • Ensure she stays hydrated.
  • Prepare a light snack while she’s breastfeeding. She can snack while switching to the other breast.
  • Remind her of the importance of self-care. Take care of the baby while she takes a bath, reads a book, goes for a walk, or does something that helps her relax and recharge.
  • Take an active role in caring for the baby. Offer to take over feedings, diaper changes, or soothing the baby to give her breaks and moments of rest. 
  • Help her connect with other new moms or join support groups where she can share her experiences and receive support from others who may be going through similar challenges.
  • It's essential to prioritise your own well-being too. Caring for a partner with postpartum depression can be emotionally draining, so make sure you also seek support and take time for self-care.


Related story: Common Myths About Caring For A Baby


UR Life Studio's Lifestyle Management and Therapeutic Programs

UR.Life Studio offers a range of programs under its Lifestyle Management and Therapeutic Programs (LMTP) unit. Each program is tailored to meet individual needs, and the studio's professionals work closely with clients to create personalised plans that address their specific goals and challenges. Here are some examples of programs offered by UR Life Studio:

  • Stress Management Program
  • Weight Management Program
  • Chronic Pain Management Program
  • Postural Correction Program
  • Wellness Coaching Program
  • Functional Fitness Program
  • Rehabilitation Programs


UR.Life LMTP likely aims to help pregnant women and new mothers cope with any persistent or chronic pain they may be experiencing, which can be common during pregnancy and in the postpartum period. The services involve a range of approaches such as exercises, therapies, and lifestyle adjustments to alleviate pain. This program may focus on correcting postural imbalances and providing exercises, stretches, guidance to improve posture and prevent discomfort or pain, restore functional movement, improve core strength, and enhance overall physical fitness in 


Related story: Physiotherapy For New Moms And Pregnant Women


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