Breakups sting and there’s no sugarcoating it. They’re one of the hardest emotional experiences to go through, and they can leave us feeling lost, empty, and questioning everything. 

 

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Entering a relationship feels like heaven where we create many unforgettable memories with them. But, sometimes we lose these bonds and decide to go separate ways. Research backs this up: a 2023 study by Emerging Adulthood found that over a third (36.7 per cent) of American adults went through a breakup in just one year. Also, men and women experience hurt at different levels. On average, women take the breakup harder at first, but they also tend to recover more fully and emerge emotionally stronger.
 

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Men, on the other hand, don’t necessarily "get over it". According to Craig Morris, a research associate at Binghamton University, this difference comes down to biology. Women have more at stake when choosing a partner, so when a relationship ends, the emotional toll is greater. But because of this, they also process, heal, and grow from the experience. Meanwhile, men may push forward without fully dealing with the emotional fallout, carrying unresolved feelings with them long-term.

Because a breakup isn’t just about losing a person; it’s about losing a part of your world. Your relationship gave your life structure, meaning, and even a sense of identity. When that’s taken away, it can feel like a piece of you is missing, like there’s a hole inside you that nothing can fill. Suddenly, everything seems meaningless, and even day-to-day life can feel like a blur. To figure out the best way to deal with this rollercoaster of emotions, we reached out to Dr. Shreya Chakravarty, psychologist and deputy manager of UR.Life Life Studios, Hyderabad to know how to move on from a relationship. 

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6 Tips to Move On from A Relationship From A Mental Health Expert

Breakups can shake you to your core. You’re not just losing a person; you’re losing the future you imagined with them. Feelings of anxiety, depression, and even a deep sense of personal loss can follow up, especially if attachment insecurities are in the mix. 

Here's how to bounce back to normal life:

 

1. What’s the best way to emotionally detach after a breakup?
 

Dr. Chakravarty: First and foremost give yourself time, as emotional detachment will not happen overnight. So be patient with you and don’t rush as healing happens gradually. Acknowledge and validate your emotions as its natural to feel sad, angry after break-up. Don’t become judgmental, especially upon yourself. Emotional detachment is not about suppressing or ignoring your emotions. One cannot detach emotionally without understanding their emotions completely. With all your willpower, avoid the urge to text at any point in the day, check social media, or accidental run-ins. Your brain needs time to rewire itself without them at the centre of your world. Take this time to focus on your self-care and self-growth. This will allow you to rebuild your identity beyond any relationship. It will also boost your self-esteem. Idealizing past relationship will make detachment harder. Reframing the relationship will help to focus on both the positive and negative aspects.But you should also keep in mind that detaching isn’t just about cutting contact. It’s also about shifting your focus back to you. Reconnect with old hobbies, pour into your friendships, and remind yourself that your identity existed before them.

 

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2. How can someone work through guilt or regret when a relationship ends?
 

Dr. Chakravarty: Working through feelings of guilt and regret after a relationship ends is a common emotional challenge. It’s easy to replay every moment and wonder if you could’ve done things differently. But here’s the truth: regret is a tricky emotion that makes you believe you had more control than you did. To over come it, remind yourself that relationships are complex, and both partners contribute to their success or failure. View the end of the relationship as a shared responsibility. Do not indulge into self-blame. Your emotions, resulting from break up, like guilt and regret can be constructive if you use them as a tool for personal growth. They can show you areas where you can improve in future relationships or where you can better align with your values.

Practice Self-compassion and forgive yourself. Holding onto guilt and regret can prevent you from healing and moving forward. Forgiving yourself is essential for emotional closure and personal growth. Self-compassion helps you to becoming stuck in negative self-judgment. Being kind to yourself can mitigate feelings of guilt and help you heal emotionally.
Focus on what you can control and stop dwelling upon what you can’t control. Guilt often stems from the feeling that you could have controlled the outcome of the relationship, but in reality, you can’t control everything. Shifting your focus toward what you can control will empower you and alleviate feelings of helplessness. Instead of lingering on ‘why me?,’ ask yourself, what's the blessing behind this separation, or how can I be a better person next time? Then, let it go. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Be kind to yourself. If guilt and regret become overwhelming or persist over time, speak to a therapist who can help navigate these emotions in more depth. Therapy can provide a safe space to explore the feelings, get to the root causes, and work through them with professional guidance.

 

3. What are some healthy ways to cope without social media stalking or shutting down emotionally?

Dr. Chakravarty: It’s normal to feel like stalking your ex’s social media accounts to know what they are up to. But, this is not a healthy thing to do, it is directly affecting your mental health and may reignite hope of reconciliation. Allow yourself to experience your feelings, knowing they are temporary. Don’t fight with your feelings. One of the most important strategies is to set clear boundaries, especially around social media. Like on social media if you regularly checking your ex’s profile, it can fuel feelings of jealousy, sadness, and obsession, prolonging the emotional pain. Every post you see is a fresh stab to the heart. Mute, unfollow, block if needed. Out of sight, out of mind works wonders. Shutting down emotionally can be a defense mechanism, but there are healthy outlets to express your emotions like journaling your thoughts and feeling, seeking support from a friend or expert, engaging in creative activities like painting, gardening etc. Practise grounding techniques which will help you refocus, through engaging your senses (like listening to sounds, noticing colours) when you feel overwhelmed by negative emotions or thoughts about the past. Exercises have a powerful impact on mental health as they help relieving stress, improve mood and increase feeling of well-being by releasing endorphins. Hang out with your friends, family, or alone to cafes, movies, or anywhere you feel like going. Have the courage to resist thinking about your ex and invest yourself in something productive like gardening, painting, cooking, etc. Fall in love with your life again. 

 

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4. How can someone rebuild their self-confidence after a toxic relationship?

Dr. Chakravarty: Toxic relationships can take away your self-worth, but it's time to reclaim your power. Remember who you were before those influences entered your life. Reflect on what you loved and what brought you joy. Reconnect with those passions and interests. Affirm yourself every day and stand strong in your beliefs with statements like, ‘I am enough. I am worthy of love. I deserve happiness.’ Embrace this practice; it truly works. Start to prioritise yourself to get out of the toxic memories from the previous relationship. Travelling alone is something most women do to get a new perspective on life, meditate for inner peace, and most importantly, focus on your personal growth and profession. 

 

5. How important is closure in moving on, and what can someone do if they never get it?

Dr. Chakravarty: Closure is a good idea to end a relationship or even get validation from the other person, but it’s not always essential. Sometimes, we may not receive the apology, explanation, or farewell that we believe we deserve. And that’s perfectly fine. It brings emotional resolution by processes emotions which are tied up with break up and the lingering feeling of doubts. Closure helps in getting a clarity regarding emotional ties which are crucial for detachment. It also resolves feeling of guilt and regrets. Closure is something you need for yourself and it’s something you think you need. It’s about acknowledging the past and finding peace within it. You don't need others' words to move on; what matters is your decision to take that step forward with confidence.

6. When is the right time to start dating again?

Dr. Chakravarty: There’s no fixed timeline for this, but if you’re dating just to fill a void, I think it’s too soon. Healing isn’t about waiting for a perfect moment when you feel completely okay. I would suggest waiting for the right time when you are completely over your past and have decided to give your life another try. When you can enter the dating scene without desperation, that’s when you know you’re ready.

 

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Right now, it might feel like the pain will last forever. It is understandable that breakups are tough, but they’re also an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and transformation. The key is to allow yourself to feel, learn, and rebuild. Do not rush the process.You are not defined by this relationship, and you are certainly not broken. One day, you’ll look back and realise this heartbreak wasn’t an ending.

 

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