Parenting

Tips to Teach Empathy to Kids

Use these tips to embed empathy in your child to make them more compassionate, kind, and emotionally intelligent—skills that will benefit them for life.

By URLife Team

14 Aug 2024

As a parent, you must have noticed that some kids are able to make friends easily, while some have a hard time connecting with other children. Some children are strong willed, they might bully others or make fun of someone’s appearance or abilities. All these behavioural patterns are learned and it is possible to teach children compassion and empathy. It all starts with building skills that teach them to recognise how those words or actions could affect others.

Teaching empathy to kids is like planting a quality seed that will help them develop the ability to connect with others. It's not just about teaching them to say "sorry"—it's about helping them understand and feel what others are going through.

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Let’s Understand Empathy

Think about how you wince when you see someone stub their toe. Another scenario is the feeling of a surge of adrenaline and fear while watching a scary movie, as if you are experiencing danger alongside the characters. Or, cringing or feeling a pang of sadness when you witness someone being embarrassed in a public setting, even though you are not directly involved. This empathetic response is due to the release of mirror neurons, connecting you to their experience. A 2023 study in the journal Behavioral Science points out, mirror neurons work in our brains and play a big role in a wide range of social behaviours, like mimicking someone else’s actions, learning music, and experiencing empathy.

Empathy is a fundamental part of what makes us human. Our brains are wired to connect with others on a deep level through mirror neurons, which enable us to feel what others are feeling and understand their experiences. A 2024 study issued in the journal Frontiers in Psychiatry defines empathy as imagining how someone else feels and responding in a caring way. Empathy is an understanding that other people have feelings and that those feelings count.

Some kids at the tender age of two can develop nurturing behaviour like caring for pets, plants, or siblings and engaging in role-play. This ability to empathise is crucial for creating a culture of care and nurturing that allows kids to flourish as individuals. A 2012 study issued in the Journal of Natural Science, Biology, And Medicine points out that the mirror neuron system develops before 12 months of age and that this system may help human infants understand other people's actions.

How to Develop Empathy in Kids

Every parent dreams of raising an empathetic child—one who truly gets what others are feeling and can build relationships that are both healthy and nurturing. But depending on your child’s age, you might find yourself wondering: Is this crucial skill blossoming as it should, lagging behind, or worryingly absent?

The good news is that every parent can teach their kids to be nurturing and empathic that can be developed, practised, and honed. Here are some practical tips that can help parents embed positive behaviour and sympathy in their kids.

1. Get them involved early: Building empathy starts with genuine human interaction, and it's never too early to begin. Even if your little one seems too young, you can kick things off by simply chatting with them. Describe your day and your emotions - "I'm really happy about this yummy food!" or "Ouch, that hurt!" Even if your child isn't talking yet, you're showing them how to understand emotions, setting the stage for them to empathise with others and manage their own feelings as they grow.

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2. Praise empathetic behaviour in kids: Whenever a child shows empathy for others, make sure to praise their behaviour. Focusing on encouraging empathetic behaviour encourages more of it in the future. Always make sure to be specific with your praise, such as saying, "You brought your sister a band-aid for her scraped knee so she could feel better. That was so kind and helpful!"

This specific recognition helps reinforce the empathetic behaviour and encourages your child to continue being kind and considerate.

3. Ask them about their daily activities: As your kids grow and start forming their own social circles, whether at school or with siblings, you’ll have more opportunities to teach empathy. Ask about their day and what their friends are going through. When they share, ask them how they think their friend feels. If they struggle to answer, offer your own interpretation. Engage in a conversation where they can brainstorm ways to support their friends.

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4. Introduce kids to their emotions: Teaching empathy doesn’t just help kids connect with others; it also tunes them into their own emotions. Children who can empathise with others are often better equipped to understand and express their own feelings. It's important to help children recognise their emotions and the emotions of others by being descriptive and using labels.

For example: "You seem sad", "You're clenching your fists”, “You stomped your feet”. “You seem angry."
The more children become aware of their own emotions, the more they'll recognise and consider the emotions of others.

Many kids struggle to verbalise what they’re experiencing, leading to anxiety and frustration. Encouraging body awareness can also be helpful, as young children may find it easier to identify emotions based on how they feel in their bodies.

Related story: Building Good Habit in Kids

5. Set an example for them: Whenever you’re trying to teach a new skill to your child, the best place to start is with yourself. By modelling empathy, you give your child a clear picture of what it looks like, sounds like, and feels like in action. Plus, it's much easier to guide them through something you've already mastered. Most importantly, lead by example. Talk about your feelings with your child in an age-appropriate way. Show them that it’s okay to struggle but remember, your child isn’t your emotional sounding board—save that for your peers, partner, or therapist. Share your experiences for their benefit, not yours.

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6. Teach them to care for other living things: Involving your older kids (6-10 years) in caring for babies, animals or even plants (in an age appropriate way), is a fantastic way to cultivate empathy. When they help with feeding, changing, or simply comforting a baby, they learn to recognise and respond to the needs of someone who can’t communicate with words. When children are responsible for watering plants, feeding, and looking after a pet, they begin to understand the needs of another living being.

They learn that animals have feelings, too—whether it’s a dog wagging its tail in excitement or a cat purring contentedly. This hands-on experience teaches them patience, gentleness, and the importance of being attuned to others' emotions—key components of empathy that will stick with them as they grow.

Teaching empathy is challenging but worth every effort. No parent is perfect, but each step you take helps your child become a more compassionate and understanding person. By nurturing empathy in children, we not only equip them with essential life skills but also foster a more caring and harmonious society. Teaching our children to understand and share the feelings of others is crucial in building a compassionate and emotionally intelligent generation. Empower the next generation with the empathy to care for the people around them truly. Turn everyday moments into opportunities to foster compassion and empathy in our children.

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