For most of us, living in a way that results in joy, happiness, fulfilment and a sense of peace is a top priority. But in our increasingly uncertain world, that isn’t always easy. If you’re finding it hard to feel the same, you aren’t alone.

As we navigate these turbulent times, finding a path to happiness can seem daunting. However, both Ashley Davis Bush (psychotherapist and author of renowned self-help books) and Susan Cain (American writer, author of the book  Bittersweet and lecturer) offer valuable insights into achieving inner contentment. Bush emphasises that true peace is not found in external circumstances but within ourselves, suggesting that each person has an inner reservoir of serenity waiting to be accessed. Cain, in her book Bittersweet, complements this perspective by exploring how embracing all emotions, including sadness, can lead to a more profound sense of fulfilment. 

Ashley Davis Bush, psychotherapist and author of The Little Book of Inner Peace: Simple Practices for Less Angst, More Calm, mentions that ‘’I think often people look for circumstances to help achieve a sense of inner peace”. She goes on to state,“In fact, this calm, compassionate, deep awareness is actually within each person. It’s as if we have a deep reservoir of peacefulness and serenity inside us. What we have to learn to do is tap into it.”

 

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Susan Cain, the author of the book Bittersweet also gives lessons in her book on how to find happiness in a chaotic world. She emphasises on the importance of embracing all emotional responses—both positive and negative—in our pursuit of a fulfilled life and how to find happiness in whatever life throws at you. 

Cain also discusses how neuroscience shows that our ability to feel compassion for others' pain is connected to an ancient part of the brain called the vagus nerve. She interviews scientists who explain that seeing others suffer, especially children, triggers a strong, biological response in us, much like feeling hungry. This shows that compassion is as essential to us as breathing and eating. Cain argues that sadness is a universal emotion because people from different cultures experience it in similar ways, unlike happiness, which varies greatly across cultures. She describes her sadness as the most unifying emotion that makes us feel connected with others. This shared experience of sadness taps into our natural compassion for others.

Not only this but Susan Cain, along with many religious and secular traditions, believes that accepting death is crucial for understanding its impact on life. She argues that death gives life meaning and helps people value their experiences more. Studies show that those with terminal illnesses who are close to death often feel more grateful for their lives compared to those who see death as a distant concept and abstraction.

 

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6 Easy Ways to Find Happiness

Embrace All Emotional Responses- Positive or Negative

As per Susan Cain ‘’light and dark, birth and death—bitter and sweet—are forever paired’’ and you cannot relish or pick one as they come in pairs. Embracing all emotions, whether typically seen as positive or negative, can lead to a richer and more meaningful life. Instead of trying to stay positive all the time because of societal expectations, Cain suggests accepting moments of sadness. He believes that the combination of sadness and beauty offers the best chances for human connection and personal growth. 

Cain also emphasises that facing and accepting our emotions can deepen our relationships with others. By being open about our struggles and vulnerabilities, we create space for genuine connections and mutual understanding. This approach not only helps us grow personally but also fosters a more compassionate and supportive community. Cain explains that when we allow ourselves to fully experience and understand our pain, it can lead to personal transformation. This transformation helps us appreciate the beauty and meaning in life more fully.

 

Related story: Self-Care Isn't Selfish-Deanne Panday on Finding Happiness, Balance And Being Healthy From Inside Out

 

Utilise Creativity to Process Complex Feelings

Harnessing creativity to navigate complex or negative emotions can be profoundly therapeutic. Engaging in activities like journaling, sketching, or singing allows you to channel and explore your feelings in a tangible way. When you journal, you give voice to your inner thoughts, transforming them from abstract anxieties into concrete words. Sketching or drawing provides a visual outlet, enabling you to express what’s difficult to articulate. Singing or making music can serve as an emotional release, offering solace and clarity. Engaging with your emotions empowers you to create a space to process, understand, and eventually heal from them.

Cain also reflected on the power writing could have on dealing with negative emotions and sensed that diary writing was a productive exercise. Diary writing helped her productively process her complicated relationship with her mother and make peace with her relationship. 

 

Understand Your Sadness

It is rightly said that no matter who you are, at some point you will experience suffering and pain. It is never a good idea to ignore your negative emotions. Don't suppress sadness in favour of inauthentically putting on a happy face–it could be dangerous. It is better to allow space to be sad rather than to suppress it in favour of inauthentically always putting on a confidently happy face. Allowing for sadness enables people to live fuller and more enriching lives.

Cain mentions “The place you suffer is the place you care. You hurt because you care. Therefore, the best response to pain is to dive deeper into your caring. Which is exactly the opposite of what most of us want to do. We want to avoid pain: to ward off the bitter by not caring quite so much about the sweet.”

 

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Don’t Run After Perfection 

Social media has made everyone envious of others because of what they portray as a perfect life. Be it their last vacation pictures or a dotting caption for their partners. More often than not, there is more to it. People never bring up their own set of challenges and setbacks in social media. You consider that as a benchmark for a perfect life and seem to run after pretentious perfection. 

Finding happiness in a chaotic world starts with embracing imperfection. In an age where social media often portrays an idealised version of life, it’s crucial to recognise that perfection is a myth. Instead of striving for an unattainable standard, focus on inner peace. Accept that some factors are beyond your control and learn to find contentment in what you have. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and appreciating your journey, you can cultivate genuine happiness amidst the frenzy.

 

Visualise Your Happy Place 

Envision your ideal happy place. This is a practice that becomes easier with repetition, and the more vividly you imagine it, the more effective it will be. It’s fine if it takes some time to pinpoint what makes you feel happiest.

You might envision a serene beach, cozying up in your bed, a peaceful lake view, playing with a beloved pet, being with someone special, or recalling a favorite vacation. Try to immerse yourself in the details—imagine the scents, sounds, textures, and sensations. Vividly recalling these memories, can trigger a sense of being there which can help you relax. 

 

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Make a Joy List For Challenging Times

Taking a moment to check in with your feelings can be a helpful mindfulness practice. When not in the right state of mind, you often stumble upon the thought ‘What do I need to do right now?’ Apparently, that is not the right moment to seek answers to such questions when your mind is already bogged down. Since many people find it challenging to remember which activities bring them joy when they’re feeling mired in chaos, looking at a “joy list” that you’ve compiled ahead of time works like magic.

 

This is a simple list of activities or actions that you know bring you peace and happiness. When life feels overwhelming, you can refer to this list to remind yourself of what helps you feel better. By having this list ready, you make it easier to focus on activities that uplift you, even when you’re not feeling your best.

 

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