Parenting
A Guide to Answer Uncomfortable Questions from Children
Learn how to turn awkward questions from children into valuable learning opportunities while building trust with them.
Children are inquisitive souls by nature and are wired to be curious about the world around them. They can end up asking the darndest things that are awkward, embarrassing, or come at the worst possible time. The questions they ask can make you squirm, laugh nervously, or stumble for the right words.
Children ask questions because more often than not their brains are trying to figure out how to fit new information or situations into what they already know. They look up to you for help because they trust you as a parent. That’s why, even if their questions are tough or awkward, you can turn them into learning opportunities, even if you do not know the answer yourself.
From asking questions like "Why does my friend have two mothers?" to "Why is the colour of the school bus always yellow?" "What happens when we die?" and "Where does a baby come from?" children can ask a range of difficult and thought-provoking questions and look up to you as a parent for honest and accurate answers. You might wonder how to answer the uncomfortable questions or is it the right age to answer the question thrown by your kid? It could be daunting to navigate these challenging topics, but addressing them thoughtfully is key to helping your child understand the world around them.
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4 Ways to Respond to Uncomfortable Questions from Children
Incorporate Age-Appropriate Honesty
When addressing uncomfortable questions from children, it’s essential to be both truthful and age-appropriate. For example, if a preschooler asks, “Where do babies come from?” you might say, “Babies grow in a special place inside their mommy called the uterus.” This simple answer is suitable for their age and sets the stage for more detailed discussions as they grow older.
When a child asks, “What happens when we die?” it can be challenging to address, but avoiding the topic may not be the best approach. Instead, offer a straightforward and comforting explanation suitable for their age. You might say, “When people die, their bodies stop working and they don’t feel any pain anymore. We remember them and keep them in our hearts.” This response provides a gentle, clear answer without overwhelming them with complex details. This approach also opens the door for further conversations as they grow older and can handle more intricate aspects of the topic.
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Use Stories and Analogies
Using stories and analogies is a great way to help children understand uncomfortable topics. For example, if a child asks about death, you might tell a story about a tree losing its leaves in autumn and how new leaves grow back in the spring. This can help the child grasp the idea in a way that's easier to understand. Analogies connect complex ideas to familiar things, making the answers less scary and more relatable.
If a child inquires about why people have different skin colours, you could say, “Imagine people are like a box of crayons. Each crayon is a different colour, and all the colours are beautiful and important.” This approach provides an answer while also teaching valuable lessons about diversity and acceptance.
Stories can also provide comfort and help children process their feelings. By using characters and situations they can relate to, you make the topic less overwhelming. For instance, if a child is worried about moving to a new place, you might share a story about a character who moved but found new friends and fun experiences.
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Admit Not Knowing the Answer
When a child asks a question and you don’t know the answer, it’s important to be honest about it. Admitting that you don’t know can be a valuable teaching moment. You might say, “That’s a great question, and I don’t have the answer right now. Let’s find out together.” This approach shows your child that it’s okay not to have all the answers and emphasises the importance of curiosity and learning.
Additionally, by seeking the answer together, you model how to find reliable information and engage in problem-solving. This process can turn a potentially awkward moment into an opportunity for both of you to learn something new.
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Don’t Ignore the Questions
When children ask uncomfortable questions, it’s important not to ignore them. Kids are naturally curious and asking questions helps them understand the world. If you avoid answering, they might feel confused or think their questions are wrong. Instead, take a deep breath and provide a simple, honest answer that’s appropriate for their age. This shows them that their thoughts and feelings are valued and that it’s okay to ask questions.
Being open about these topics helps children learn and feel secure. It also builds trust between you and your child, making them more likely to come to you with their concerns in the future. If you're unsure how to answer, it’s okay to admit it and find out together.
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Addressing uncomfortable questions from children with honesty and sensitivity is crucial for their understanding and development. By providing age-appropriate answers, using stories and analogies, and openly admitting when you don’t know something, you help children make sense of complex topics and learn valuable lessons. This approach not only clarifies their doubts but also models critical thinking and curiosity.
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This article is verified by Dr. Shreya Chakravarty, psychologist and deputy manager of UR.Life Life Studios.
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