“Good dating bios are hard to come by,” remarked my tired, single friend as she scanned for a profile that gave a Nice-Guy-But-Not-Boring vibe. In a sea of prospective dates, it's hard to tell one profile apart from another. We’ve seen them all: bougie pictures, cheeky bios that sit on the fringes of all that’s socially acceptable and group photographs that make us question whether we’re looking at their ex. No wonder, doom swiping is so exhausting and demoralising. In an attempt to help my friend meet someone interesting, we polled women who actively use dating apps to spill the tea on all things that make them cringe on dating apps. Use this as a guide to get more right swipes and while you are at it spruce up your dating bio, please.

 

The Photograph: Don’t Be Shirtless

Swiping left or right is a split-second decision. A 2021 study, published in the Journal of Research in Personality found that while men were more liberal in their decision to swipe right, women made fewer favourable choices. Consider these wise words from a veteran app user, “Those smoulder pictures, the angled jaw jutting selfie—ugh! that’s an instant no for trying too hard to look hot.” On this cue, we also don’t need more shirtless photographs. Group photographs are tricky too: how do we know if that’s your ex, your sister or you creeping on a colleague? Instead, use your photographs to build or show your personality—we want it all, the good and the ugly. Show yourself fearlessly. Make sure your pictures have a range of shareable moments from different aspects of your personality. As one user puts it, “Avoid coming across as the gym freak. I’d like to know that there’s more to a person than their physique and the gym they use.” While you must have more than one photograph, please don’t add more than one selfie.

 

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The Bio: Pepper It With Conversation Starters

Don’t lead with ex-drama, ditch cliches (unless that’s your thing) and don’t be pretentious. “I swipe left on profiles that scream bougie, something just doesn’t click there. I do adore it when people share simple, lived experiences (okay maybe a little pretension is okay!),” says a wise twenty-something, true Gen Z. Use humour, music and a little ingenuity to showcase your personality. Open up about your values, interests and hobbies to intrigue the viewer. While you are at it, sneak in icebreaker questions to get the conversation rolling. Help the person find something in common with you. Be bold, use prompts to convey your intentions and expectations from the encounter.

 

 

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The Conversation: Show You Care

Learn to read between the lines, pay attention to little details in a prospective date’s profile. And then ask questions. “Making your opening text a question is so sexy! It shows me that you paused to think about my profile,” says one reader. And she adds, “Come up with replies that take the conversation forward, instead of saying 'yea' or 'cool' and leaving it there.” Use the connection to show that you actually see and appreciate the human behind the profile. Be a gentleman, don't be pushy, creepy or make the person uncomfortable. And to get things moving, let her choose a place for a date. Good luck!

 

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