Mental Health

5 Subtle Signs That Show You're Feeling Lonely

Loneliness does not always mean being depressed or not surrounded by people. It can manifest in many subtle ways. Keep reading to know the signs and how to address the same.

By URLife Team

20 Aug 2024

According to a 2015 study by Brigham Young University, loneliness and social isolation are just as much a threat to longevity as obesity. The study also mentioned that lack of relationships is a bigger health risk, especially for people under age 65.

Loneliness is more than just feeling alone. It’s an all-encompassing experience that can be a heavy burden. It may be a drizzle that seeps into your days. It can make everything feel a bit heavier and impact your mood more than you’d like to admit. It may be your shadow that tags along, even amongst a bustling crowd. Loneliness often comes uninvited, wrapping around moments that should be lively and warm, casting a chill.

It can manifest in many ways that we tend not to take into consideration. Here are signs that show you are dealing with loneliness

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Feeling a Lack of Energy

According to a 2011 study published by the Sleep Research Society, there is a strong connection between loneliness and sleep fragmentation. The same study also concluded that individuals who feel lonely do not sleep as well as individuals who feel more connected to others.

If you’re thinking, ‘’I sleep through the night, so that can't be the reason I'm so tired." you might want to check again. Sometimes, you might be awake for such short periods that you don’t notice or remember it the next morning. However, these brief awakenings can stop you from completing a full sleep cycle.

Binge Watching

You might want to reconsider hitting the ‘next episode’ button so often. Binge-watching TV could be a sign of loneliness, depression, or a lack of control. A 2015 research from the University of Texas at Austin found that people who feel lonely and depressed are more likely to binge-watch TV. This is usually done as a way to escape their negative emotions. So, binge-watching may be a clue that you're feeling isolated or down.

It's important to recognise that while binge-watching might provide temporary relief, it doesn't address the underlying issues causing those feelings. If you find yourself using TV as a way to cope with loneliness or depression, it might be helpful to explore other activities or seek support that can offer more lasting comfort and improvement.

Scrolling Mindlessly on Social Media

A 2017 study by the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that those involved with extensive use of social media were associated with feelings of social isolation: those who spend more than two hours a day on social media were twice as likely to feel lonely than those who spent 30 minutes or less on social media platforms.
However, it could be because loneliness causes an increase in social media use rather than social media usage increasing the feelings of loneliness.

This implies a clear distinction between digital interaction and human interaction and also confirms that digital interaction does not have the same effect as human interaction. The best strategy is to set reminders and restrict the usage by changing the settings in different applications.

Overthinking

If you are consistently making mountains out of molehills, then there is a high chance that you have been more stressed than normal. Also, the stress could be linked to loneliness.

According to a 2023 study published by Psychology Today, lonely individuals report higher levels of perceived stress even when exposed to the same stressors as non-lonely people, and even when they are relaxing. The same study also concluded that living alone increases the risk of suicide for young and old alike.

Feeling Like No One Understands You

When you're lonely, it can seem like nobody truly understands you. As per the research the feeling that no one understands you is so prevalent that it's included in the UCLA Loneliness Scale, a leading tool for measuring loneliness. Over time, you might start to believe that your struggles with connecting stem from a deeper issue, as if no one can truly grasp what you're going through.

A 2023 research by King’s College London shows that those who feel isolated are more likely to perceive others as disliking them or even plotting against them, regardless of whether they have a history of psychosis. This suggests that loneliness can distort perceptions and foster distrust, leading you to feel even more isolated and misunderstood.

4 Ways to Deal with Loneliness

Loneliness can’t always be fixed by being around others. Even with plenty of social connections and support, someone can still grapple with feelings of loneliness.

Find Creative Ways to Stay Connected

Finding creative ways to stay in touch can help fight loneliness, especially when you can’t meet in person. Video calls are a great way to connect with friends and family, no matter how far apart you are. Apps like Zoom or Skype let you catch up, play games together, or even have a virtual happy hour. Regular video calls can give you something to look forward to and help you feel more connected.

Writing letters or postcards is another thoughtful way to reach out. Although it takes more time than a quick text or email, a handwritten note feels more personal and special. Writing about your feelings can help you sort through them and find things to be grateful for. Receiving a letter in return can brighten your day and remind you of your connections, helping you feel less alone.

Related story: How to Revive Your Friendships

Indulge in a Self-Talk as a Friend Would Do

When you're feeling lonely, it’s easy to focus on negative thoughts, replay past mistakes, or worry about the worst-case scenarios. This can make loneliness feel even worse. Instead, try to address your thoughts in a kinder, more supportive way—just like a good friend would.

When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, such as “I’ll never make new friends” or “I can’t handle being this alone,” challenge them. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or “What advice would I give a friend in this situation?” Then, reframe those thoughts into something more positive, like “I feel lonely now, but I know I can make new friends soon” or “I’ve faced tough times before and gotten through them; I can do it again.” Talking to yourself with compassion can help ease feelings of loneliness and isolation.

Don’t Avoid Feelings of Loneliness

Loneliness often brings up feelings of shame and self-criticism, which can lead you to convince yourself that you don’t really need anyone and that things are better this way. You might even believe this for a while.

However, this approach can be harmful to both your mental and physical health in the long run. Humans need connections and to feel loved. Once you recognize that you're feeling lonely, it's important to take steps to address it and seek support.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

If you're feeling lonely because you think your relationships lack depth, it’s time to make a change. While there’s a chance you might face rejection, you’re also likely to find someone—or even a whole group—who really understands you.

Start by reaching out in places where you feel at ease. For example, if you go to a workout class, try talking to the person who gives you a high five or notices when you're missing. A simple conversation could lead to a new friendship. If you’re at home, consider reconnecting with an old friend through Instagram DM to catch up. Taking these steps can help you build more meaningful connections.

Need all your wellness solutions in one place? A whole new world awaits just a click away.

If you’re noticing signs that you’re feeling alone, such as a lack of meaningful connections or struggling with negative thoughts, it’s important to take action. Recognise these feelings and reach out for support, whether it’s through connecting with friends and family, joining social activities, or talking to a mental health professional.