Mental Health

Embracing Singledome: Learning To Love Yourself

Being single may evoke a sense of discomfort, especially among people who are not romantically involved. Here are some tips that will help you embrace your singlehood and understand how to enjoy single life.

By URLife Team
06 Feb 2024

Are most of your friends taken? Do you also stand out like a sore thumb among your friend circle because of your ‘single’ status?  Don’t worry, it might feel like the end of the world, but it definitely isn’t.


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As your circle of friends gradually transitions from predominantly single individuals to more couples, the experience of being single can become increasingly unsettling. Many individuals deal with feelings of shame and anxiety, perceiving their single status as a personal failure to find a partner. The tendency to internalise this sense of being the "odd one out," often leads to self-doubt about one's desirability or lovability. This situation becomes even more challenging when there is a genuine desire to forge a meaningful connection with a partner, but a suitable match has yet to emerge.


Amidst the prevailing challenges and societal pressures, it is crucial to recognise that a single status does not indicate the end of one's world. Rather than succumbing to a sense of upcoming doom, the present moment offers an appropriate time for introspection, self-care, and careful consideration of personal desires in relationships.


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The Best Thing About Being Single

In the absence of a romantic partner, individuals often find themselves confronting these emotions head-on, fostering a deeper understanding of their own emotional landscape and enhancing their ability to cope with adversity. By embracing singlehood as a space for personal growth and emotional maturity, individuals can cultivate invaluable skills for navigating life's inevitable discomforts with grace and resilience.


Enhances self-connection and self-worth

The best aspect of being single is the opportunity for profound self-discovery and personal growth. Without the constraints or compromises inherent in a romantic partnership, individuals have the freedom to fully explore and embrace their own identities, interests, and aspirations.


Helps discover authentic desires

Singlehood provides a platform for individuals to delve deeper into self-discovery. Being single offers the necessary space to gain insight into personal aspirations and priorities. This period of singleness facilitates a journey of introspection and self-exploration, enabling individuals to discern what truly resonates with them and what they genuinely want out of life.


Allows you to take your life decisions

Individuals are empowered to make independent decisions and are tasked with holding themselves accountable for the outcomes. This journey fosters a sense of self-reliance and inner strength as individuals navigate their own paths and take ownership of their decisions. Embracing this responsibility cultivates a heightened sense of confidence and resilience, empowering individuals to forge ahead with determination and self-assurance.


You get to enjoy a great personal space and time

Being single provides individuals the luxury of prioritising their personal interests and aspirations without the constraints of shared responsibilities. Unlike those balancing time commitments with a partner, individuals who are single enjoy greater flexibility and autonomy over their schedules. Singlehood offers individuals the freedom to dedicate more time to personal endeavours, whether it's pursuing a long-held passion project or exploring new hobbies. 


The ball is always in your court

When you're single, you have the liberty to call all the shots in your life. Whether it's booking a spontaneous trip overseas, relocating to a new city, or choosing to spend holidays without family, the power to make these choices rests solely in your hands. Without the need to consider the preferences or needs of a partner, you have the freedom to shape your life according to your own desires and aspirations.


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How To Embrace Being Single

Embracing singlehood can prove to be advantageous if approached with a positive mindset. Enjoying single life involves fostering a positive mindset and engaging in intentional actions that promote self-growth and fulfilment.


Here are some steps to embrace singlehood:

1. Focus on fostering connections

During periods of singlehood, individuals may need to take a more proactive approach to nurturing relationships. However, the effort invested in cultivating connections is invaluable. A 2010 research in the Annals of Behavioral Medicines indicates a strong correlation between social connection and mental well-being, while isolation and disconnection often contribute to feelings of anxiety and depression. Therefore, prioritising meaningful interactions and fostering a sense of community can significantly enhance one's overall mental health and emotional resilience. 


2. Take yourself out on dates

View this period as an opportunity to cultivate a relationship with yourself, treating yourself with the same love and care you would expect from your partner. Embrace the concept of "dating" yourself by indulging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Whether it's buying yourself flowers, enjoying solo outings, or simply focusing on self-care, prioritise your own well-being and happiness. Use this time to truly get to know yourself. and appreciate the person you are. 


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3. Hang out with single friends

Single friends can offer valuable perspectives, advice, and encouragement based on their own experiences. They may provide insights on navigating the single life, share coping strategies for dealing with loneliness or societal pressures, and offer support during difficult times. Moreover, spending time with single friends offers opportunities for enjoyable activities and shared experiences. Whether it's going out for dinner, attending social events, or simply having meaningful conversations, you can thrive and navigate the single life with confidence and resilience.



4. Give yourself undivided attention

The opportunity to prioritise one's own self-care without the need to consider the demands of a partner. This freedom allows individuals to devote ample time and attention to activities and practices that promote physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Self-care can take various forms such as regular exercise, spending time outdoors in nature, practising mindfulness and relaxation techniques, or engaging in hobbies and interests that rejuvenate the mind, body, and soul.


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5. Use this opportunity to be confident alone

As individuals embrace their singleness and prioritise their own well-being and fulfilment, they develop a thicker skin and a greater sense of self-assurance. This newfound confidence diminishes the need to constantly seek approval or validation from others, freeing individuals from the constraints of societal expectations and judgments. In other words, embracing singlehood releases individuals from the fear of judgement or criticism, allowing them to make decisions based on their own values and desires.


6. Love will find you when you are the happiest

The reality is that the duration of one's singlehood is often unpredictable and beyond one's control. While it may be tempting to dwell on this uncertainty or rush into a relationship out of fear of being alone, such actions are rarely helping to achieve long-term happiness. Engaging in hopeless efforts to change circumstances beyond one's control only serves to perpetuate feelings of frustration. Instead, it is imperative to embrace and make the most of the single period in one's life.


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Indeed, singlehood presents a unique opportunity to focus on oneself and pursue one's passions, interests, and goals without the constraints or compromises of a romantic relationship. Furthermore, acknowledging and embracing singlehood is essential for fostering a healthy and positive mindset. Rather than viewing singlehood as a deficiency or temporary setback, individuals can reframe it as a valuable and empowering phase of life.


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