Mental Health

How to Handle Bullying At Work, Home, And School

Bullying can make a person feel threatened and humiliated. Here are some tips to handle bullying at work, school, and home.

By URLife Team

16 Sep 2024

Bullying is not confined to the schoolyard, or homes; it can persist and impact people well into adulthood. Regrettably, some individuals do not outgrow their bullying behaviour, and it can manifest in various settings, particularly in the workplace.

Most of us have already encountered a boss who constantly singles out one employee to blame, or co-workers who gang up to pull “harmless” pranks, all while dismissing someone’s contributions to a project. Bullying is more common than you might think.

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In fact, workplace bullying is on the rise. A 2017 study issued in the journal Sage Open shows that 46 per cent of Indians (employees) were bullied at work, either occasionally or frequently. Many affected people are too afraid to speak up, fearing retaliation from their co-workers or managers.

Bullying in Different Environments

Bullying happens when someone intentionally uses their power—whether real or perceived—to target and torment someone else. This can take many forms, from physical aggression like hitting or shoving to verbal attacks such as name-calling, threats, or mocking. It’s not just limited to words or actions; bullies often use psychological tactics to wear down their victims.

1. Sibling or School Bullying: Most kids experience playful teasing from a sibling or friend at some point, and when it's mutual and light-hearted, it’s usually harmless. Both kids might even laugh it off. For example, siblings at home may play together most of the time in harmony, but sometimes the naughty one may suddenly think of playing a prank on their younger brother or sister. But when teasing turns nasty, unkind, and relentless, it crosses into bullying—and that's when it needs to stop.

Bullying has long-lasting and harmful effects on a child’s well-being, extending far beyond childhood. A 2024 study issued in the journal Social Science & Medicine shows that being bullied between the ages of 7 and 11 can significantly impact a person's mental and physical health well into adulthood. Victims are more likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, and may experience challenges with cognitive function, forming relationships, and maintaining a stable socio-economic status. These effects can reduce overall well-being from ages 16 to 62, and even increase the likelihood of premature death before age 55.

They seek out a victim to boost their sense of importance at the expense of someone else. In rare cases, they even go as far as extorting money or possessions, all while exploiting the power imbalance to keep their victim feeling trapped and helpless.

Signs of Bullying in Kids

It’s not always easy to spot when your child is being bullied—especially if they’re not telling you about it directly or don’t have obvious bruises or injuries. But there are a few subtle signs that could raise a red flag.

You might notice your child:

Acting differently or seeming anxious.
Losing interest in eating, struggling to sleep, or avoiding activities they usually enjoy.
Appearing moodier or more easily upset than usual.
Avoiding certain situations, like taking the bus or going to school.

2. Workplace Bullying: Workplace bullying is when someone repeatedly targets a colleague with unfair or negative treatment, crossing the line into unreasonable and inappropriate behaviour. This can include actions that intimidate, humiliate, degrade, or offend a worker—sometimes even in front of co-workers, clients, or customers. Even though their behaviour might not violate any laws, bullying damages both the individual and the workplace as a whole.

How to Spot Bullying At Workplace

Bullying in the workplace can manifest at any level, whether it's from supervisors, subordinates, colleagues, or peers. What makes it particularly challenging is that bullies often exploit the organisation's rules and policies to their advantage.

Bullying in the workplace can take many forms, including:

Name-calling: Whether through abusive messages on internal systems or public comments in the office, being called names is demoralising and degrading. It’s a clear form of bullying.
Ignoring, isolating, or excluding: Deliberately ignoring someone, excluding them from meetings, or leaving them out of important conversations is an intentional way to make someone feel isolated and unwelcome.
Belittling: Making fun of someone’s contributions or dismissing their ideas without cause is a form of bullying. Constructive feedback is important, but constant undue criticism or mockery is not.
Scapegoating: Blaming others for mistakes to avoid responsibility isn't just dishonest; it's a form of bullying and shows a willingness to harm others for personal gain.
Manipulating roles: Threatening job security or blocking an employee's career progress by stripping away responsibilities without reason is an abuse of power and a common tactic in workplace bullying.
Setting up to fail: Assigning impossible tasks or unachievable targets designed to ensure failure is a cruel way to sabotage someone’s success.
Spreading rumours: Gossip may seem like playground behaviour, but in a work environment, it can severely damage someone’s reputation and well-being.
Assigning meaningless tasks: If someone is repeatedly given unnecessary tasks, it could be a sign they’re being bullied, especially when the tasks are intended to belittle them.

Related story: How to Deal With Toxic Co-workers

How to Handle Bullying in The Workplace And School

If you suspect bullying but your child isn’t ready to talk, you can ask them gently. Let your kids know it’s important to speak up if they’re being bullied, or if they witness it happening to someone else.

What can you do as a parent?

Kids may hesitate to tell adults because they feel embarrassed, ashamed, or fear their parents will be disappointed, upset, or reactive. If your child tells you about being bullied, listen calmly and offer comfort and support.
Praise your child for doing the right thing by opening up to you. Explain that it's the bully who is in the wrong, not your child. Remind them that they're not alone — many people face bullying at some point in their lives.
Reassure your child that you will work together to figure out the best way to handle the situation.
Approaching the bully’s parents may help in some cases, but it’s usually best to first involve teachers or counsellors.

What can you do about bullying at the workplace?

Know your company's policy: Familiarise yourself with your employer’s guidelines on workplace behaviour, particularly on bullying. Understand the procedures for reporting incidents and what steps management is expected to take.
Speak to the person informally: If you feel safe, consider speaking directly to the person who is bullying you. Sometimes, they may not realise how their actions are affecting you, and a conversation could prompt them to change their behaviour.
Notify management or HR: If confronting the bully isn’t an option, report the situation to management, HR, or your trade union. They can step in to address the issue on your behalf and work toward a resolution.
Document everything: Keep a record of the bullying incidents, noting dates, times, places, and any witnesses. Save any negative emails or messages and track instances where you were excluded from meetings. This evidence may be crucial if you're asked to substantiate your claims.
Talk to someone you trust: Bullying is emotionally taxing, so confide in someone who can offer support. Talking to a trusted friend, colleague, or family member can help reduce the stress and prevent the bullying from affecting your well-being.
File an official complaint: If the issue isn’t resolved after reporting it, or if your concerns aren’t taken seriously, you can file an official complaint through your company’s grievance procedures. Your employee handbook will outline the steps for this process.

Identifying and addressing bullying is essential, whether at work, home, or school. In the workplace, being familiar with company policies and seeking assistance from management or HR can have a significant impact. At home, fostering an open and supportive atmosphere can empower children to voice their concerns and enable families to confront bullying as a team. In school, maintaining open communication with educators and staff is imperative in preventing bullying from escalating. In all settings, confiding in trustworthy individuals and taking action to halt such behaviour are vital steps toward establishing safe environments for everyone.

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