Mental Health

The Art of Letting Go

Friendship is an integral part of our lives, but not all friendships are healthy and worth investing our time, love and energy into it. Here’s how you should reevaluate your friendship and committment when you feel like all is not right.

By URLife Team
25 Sep 2023

Friends are family we choose for ourselves. They are the cornerstones of our emotional well-being. But as our lives change, our friendships and relationships also evolve. There are times when these connections can become strained or toxic, and it becomes necessary to evaluate whether it's time to let go. 

 

The process of letting go isn’t as easy as it sounds. It begins with validating your emotions and feelings, and understanding that not being involved may be the best solution for all. Whether it's bidding bye to a cherished friendship that no longer serves us, releasing the grip of a toxic relationship, or simply learning to detach from the past, the art of letting go is a transformative journey.

 

Letting go involves training our brain to understand that letting go isn’t a loss, rather it could be a way to enhance our personal growth and well-being.

 

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When to Let Go of a Friendship or Relationship?

Recognising when to let go of a friendship or relationship is crucial for your well-being and personal growth. Here are key signs that it might be time to make that difficult decision:

When the relationship drains more energy than it gives

Healthy relationships are meant to uplift and energise us. They should provide a sense of comfort and security, allowing us to navigate life's challenges with resilience. However, when a friendship or relationship consistently saps our energy and leaves us feeling emotionally exhausted, it's a clear sign that something isn't right.

 

Signs that a relationship is draining more energy than it gives include:

  • Constant negativity: If the relationship is marked by constant negativity, complaints, or drama, it can take a toll on your emotional well-being.
  • Lack of support: When you're facing difficulties, a supportive friend or partner should be there to lend a listening ear and offer encouragement. If this support is absent, it's a cause for concern.
  • Frequent conflicts: Disagreements are normal in any relationship, but if conflicts are the primary mode of interaction and they never seem to lead to resolution or growth, it may be time to reevaluate.
  • Emotional exhaustion: Feeling emotionally drained after spending time with someone is a clear sign that the relationship is taking more from you than it's giving.

 

Related Post: Dear URLife: My partner is having an affair

 

When you are the only one making the effort 

Successful relationships are built on reciprocity. Both parties should contribute to maintaining and nurturing the connection. When you find yourself consistently making all the effort to keep the relationship alive, it's a strong indication that it may be time to let go.

 

Signs that you're the only one making the effort include:

  • Initiating all communication: If you're always the one reaching out, planning get-togethers, and making an effort to stay in touch, while the other person rarely reciprocates, it can be disheartening.
  • Unreturned gestures: Your acts of kindness and thoughtfulness go unnoticed or unappreciated.
  • Feeling unimportant: When your needs, feelings, and concerns are consistently ignored or dismissed, it can lead to a sense of insignificance in the relationship.

 

When you start hiding your accomplishments 

An unmistakable sign that it might be time to reevaluate a friendship or relationship is when you catch yourself hiding your accomplishments or downplaying your successes when you're around that person. A healthy friendship or partnership should be a space where you can celebrate each other's achievements, big or small. If you find that you're reluctant to share your accomplishments because you fear judgement, envy, or indifference from your friend or partner, it's a red flag.

 

Hiding your accomplishments can lead to feelings of resentment, as you may start to feel like you're not truly seen or valued for who you are. It's important to have people in your life who genuinely support and uplift you, not those who make you feel the need to diminish your achievements. When you notice this pattern, it may be time to have an open and honest conversation with the person in question. If the behaviour continues, it might be an indication that the relationship is no longer nurturing your growth and well-being.

 

Related Post: How To Strengthen Your Relationship In A Socially Distanced World

 

When you don’t feel you can be yourself around them

Authenticity is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. When you're with someone who truly cares about you, you should feel comfortable being your genuine self. However, if you constantly feel the need to wear a mask, hide your true emotions, or censor your thoughts and feelings, it's a sign that the relationship may be stifling your authenticity.

 

Feeling like you can't be yourself around someone can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your mental health. It can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and a sense of isolation. You deserve to be in connections where you can be your true self, flaws and all. If you find that you're consistently suppressing who you are because of fear of judgement or rejection, it may be time to reevaluate whether this relationship is worth holding onto.

 

Recognising when to let go of a friendship or relationship is not a sign of weakness but of self-preservation and growth. It can be painful to say goodbye to someone who has been a significant part of your life, but sometimes, it's necessary for your own well-being and personal development.

 

Better relationships, effortless conversations and stronger connections—find the key to your true potential. Sign up.

 

As you consider letting go, remember that it's a choice made out of self-love and respect. It opens the door to new opportunities for healthier connections that will enrich your life rather than drain it. While the process may be challenging, it's a step toward a more fulfilling and balanced future.
 


 

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